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Fathers’ Rights

I was reading a post on a Facebook page that I follow from a man whose girlfriend of three months became pregnant even though she was supposedly on a fairly good form of birth control.  During the pregnancy she had become erratic in her behavior towards him, so he chose to leave the relationship.  At some point she convinced him to come back and try and be a father to their daughter.  The problem was that the erratic behavior was still an issue and he ended up leaving the relationship again.

We talk so much about a woman’s right to choose whether or not to bring a child to full-term and her right to choose whether or not to put the child up for adoption or to keep the baby with her.  But what about the man’s rights?

Now this man in good faith believed his girlfriend was on birth control.  To all men out there I will tell you this:  Never take her word for it.  She may be honest.  She may be taking the birth control regularly as directed by her doctor.  She may never get pregnant while on this birth control.  But what if she’s not?  What if she is lying?  What if she forgets a dose?  What if the birth control simply isn’t as effective as it is supposed to be?

Women need to protect themselves from pregnancy, but men also need to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies as well.  Use a condom, gentlemen.  This is very important.  Take charge of your own reproduction rights.  And don’t forget the added benefits of not contracting an STD from the woman you have only known three months.

Now, ladies, keep in mind that the man that you are getting into bed with may not want children.  He may be a horrible father.  He may even be a horrible boyfriend.  How do you even know that if you have only been with him for three months?  If you manage to get pregnant by this person, sit down and have a civil conversation with them.  If they don’t want the responsibility of bringing up a child, then respect that.  Don’t force them into it.  Don’t guilt them into it.  Don’t expect them to do something that you wouldn’t want them to expect of you.  If you choose to have the child, that is YOUR choice.  If he chooses to join you, that is HIS choice.

I just wish society would realize this and act accordingly.  And for those of you who wish to attack me for this viewpoint, I am a single mother of twins.  The father wasn’t someone who was ready to be in the picture at the time.  I respected that and haven’t asked him for anything.  Not a single dime of support was ever requested.  We now have a civil relationship with each other that is conducive to my children developing a healthy relationship with him in the future.  It’s amazing how things work out when you treat someone the way you wish to be treated.

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